10.27.16

To our Mighty Jack Thomas,

With every emotion pouring out of us we are so proud to wish you a Happy 1st Birthday!

My goodness did you show us all.

We know now exactly why we were given this life and it was to meet you.

One year.  152 days spent in intensive hospital care.  Medical and developmental obstacles behind and ahead of us.

But you know what?  We got this.

We moved mountains this year.  We slayed dragons, narrowly escaped quicksand, scaled castle walls, and even danced with fairy godmothers.  We are on an adventure just like the knights and superheroes in your books, Jack.  And this particular tale has a happy ending in chapter one because we have been introduced to the mightiest hero of them all.  He proves to the world that no matter how small you may start it’s all about the size and fight in your heart.

Thank you.  For it all.  For choosing us.  For fighting.  For the front row seats to a miracle.  For arriving right when you were needed to light this world up just a bit brighter.

This life.  This story.  It’s all ours and we wouldn’t change a sentence.

Here’s to chapter two!

All our love,

Mama & Dada

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To Everyone that reads this blog-

This all started as a way to connect with our family and friends while we battled our way out of the hospital.  To keep updates coming as fast as we could muster the energy.  And somewhere along the way, this blog became our journal, our therapy, our memory book, our connection to the outside world and to other new NICU parents that we might never meet face to face but will forever have this forum.

The first night we left the hospital, without Jack, we spent all night googling “24 week micro preemie success stories” “life with a child with a bilateral grade IV brain bleed” and read blog after blog, scary health article after scary health statistic.  Hour after hour.  We never slept.  We waited for that phone to ring with horrible news about our son, the one that was four months early and on the ‘edge of viability’.  We kept scrolling, desperate to finish an article or blog with a happy ending, with a shred of light peaking behind the boulders we knew we were about to push up that endless mountain.

Maybe that blog didn’t exist just yet.  Maybe that Mom and Dad got caught up living and loving that micro preemie and stopped journaling but they’re out there and they’re doing just fine.

Well we are here to report to the other new NICU parents scrolling in the middle of those sleepless nights — MIRACLES HAPPEN. I SWEAR TO YOU.  IT MIGHT NOT BE YOUR PERFECT VERSION OF A MIRACLE, BUT YOURS IS GROWING UNDER BILIRUBIN LIGHTS WITH A PACK OF SUPERHEROES WATERING HIM/HER/THEM EACH AND EVERY DAY. SO HOLD ON AND TRUST YOUR GUT, TRUST THE NICU STAFF AND LEAN HARD ON THOSE NURSES BECAUSE THEY’RE THE ONES THAT HAVE THE OARS ON THIS FRIGHTENING WHITE WATER RAFT TRIP YOU NEVER SIGNED UP FOR.

This year changed us forever. We have no idea what tomorrow brings with our son but does any parent?  You do your best to keep them safe and raise them kind hearted.  Eventually they’ll leave the nest and you have to just accept that you’ve done everything to shape them into the person they were meant to be.  Lucky for us, we had a lot of help shaping Jack the first half of this year.  Looking at you, Winthrop NICU.

Winthrop NICU- What is there to say.  You are our family.  Forever.  Your names and our memories together fill our home every single day.  We grew up for most of this year inside your walls – all three of us, not just Jack.  You saw and experienced with us our most challenging times.  You celebrated six holidays with us and allowed us to sneak in absurd decorations to make it feel a little bit like home.  You loved our baby as your own.  The respect, love and gratitude we feel for you is immeasurable but we hope that Jack walking this planet will be a reminder of your hard work, dedication and refusal to give up.  We love you and will see you real soon.

To our Family & Friends- Thank you for being on this journey with us.  It wasn’t always pretty, actually it never was, but we made it to the other side and how sweet it is.  It’s hard to ask for help when you think you have it all under control.  Thank you for refusing to let us do this on our own – we needed you all along.

One last thought before we go and kiss that birthday boy all day long–

Life is short, the plan can change at any given moment.  But if you can figure out how to pivot onto the new path you’re thrust upon, amazing things can be discovered.  Wait for it.