Dear NICU nurse,

 There will never be the right words. The right words to describe your grace, your patience, your ability, your instincts, your profound effect on us.

Our lives prior to meeting you were those of ordinary thirty-two year olds. We followed the steps– we dated, we married, we bought a home, we started a family. What the books left out was what kind of family we were about to start. You are our family. Our family to date has existed amongst the hum of this underground fight club and dances to the rhythm of machine chimes.

 

You are our family.

 

You met our baby before we did.

You helped navigate us towards the back of nursery A to meet him.

You held us steady when our knees buckled at the first sight.

You whispered ‘he needs you now to be strong’.

You explain over and over the same answers to our questions without judgement.

You are calm and graceful amongst the chaos. Ballerinas inside a tornado.

You answer every late night call.

You answer every early morning call.

You deliver the hard truth softly.

You cheer with us for every tiny milestone.

You grab the tissues before the tear hits our cheek.

 

You are our family.

We remember every first with you.

 

The first cradle of our baby’s feet and head.

The first opening of his eyes.

The first skin to skin hold for mommy.

The first swaddle hold for daddy.

The first diaper change.

The first temperature check.

The first kilo mark.

The first brain bleed news.

The first Halloween.

The first brady.

The first Thanksgiving.

The first spinal tap.

The first breath on cpap.

The first audible cry.

The first Christmas.

The first outfit.

The first New Year’s Eve.

The first day of 2016.

The first blizzard.

The first bath.

The first breast feed.

The first explosive poop(s).

The first Valentine’s Day.

The first breath of room air.

The first sight of our baby’s face without tubes.

The first St. Patrick’s Day.

The first moment we were told a discharge date.

The first time we left through the hospital doors as a family of three.

The first time we realized we are a family.

 

We talk about what it will be like to be one of the families that come back and visit. What we realize now is– none of the families ‘come back’ because you never left them. You will always be with all of us. You are our family.