5.8.16

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a preemie.”

The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.  Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”

God smiles. “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has just the right amount of selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see– ignorance, cruelty, prejudice– and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

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The above was sent to me from another NICU Mom I met along our journey on this Mother’s Day and I often think to myself that Jack did choose us as parents.  Easy wouldn’t be the word I use to describe my introduction into Motherhood but rewarding has recently been uttered.  We have been home now a month since our scary ALTE hospital stay after the NICU and it’s been a month of growth, development, exhaustion, frustration, love and reward.  A little update on Jack’s health progress since the last– we have successfully weaned him off Oxygen during the days and he now only requires treatment overnight and that’s just to give his lungs the extra rest they need for long term development.  We will see our Pulmonogist in a few weeks for follow up.  His reflux is in full swing but manageable.  We don’t wish reflux on anyone – yikes.  We have seen just about all our Specialists for after NICU follow ups at this point, Early Intervention Physical Therapy is in full swing and our six month Pedatrician wellness visit weighed in a 15 pound, 25 inch husky micro preemie.

This morning I woke up to my husband feeding our baby while simultaneously stroking our puppy with his foot.  In this moment I felt my heart full as I looked at my three boys.  This was our family and I’m the Mom. I’m a Mom!?

To my sweet baby Jack-
Thank you for choosing me to be your Mom.
I don’t know if I’m doing it right but I’ll never stop trying.
What I do know is we can get through anything and I’ll always be right here holding your hand.
I will spend my entire life chasing those smiles.
Here’s to a lifetime full of adventures!

 

To my sweet Mom-

Thank you. For Everything. I get it now.